The Emotional Challenges of Studying Abroad The Hidden Struggles of Long-Distance Friendships

My international experience has been a rollercoaster ride, to say the least. It has had ups and downs. On the plus side, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would ever make friends from all over the globe. I have connected with people from all walks of life, heard stories and in the most minuscule way, immersed myself in multiple cultures. All this is thanks to my move to Canada. On the downside, I sometimes feel like I am disconnected from my friends back in my home country.  

When you move to another country, people talk about the new experiences you will have, the new adventures you will embark on and the new friends you will make but rarely does one talk about what you will leave behind. Make no mistake, staying in the moment and living your best life abroad is the best way to experience life as an international student. But staying in the moment abroad means missing out back home. Personally, when I catch up with my friends back home, I always feel like I am missing out on their lives. When I was back home, I used to share their milestones in real-time, but now I only hear about them after it is all done, leaving me feeling somewhat disconnected.  

The impact of time differences is often overlooked. There were times when I spoke to my friends daily and other times only every other day. Conflicting schedules have made it harder to stay in touch as often as I used to, which can feel isolating, especially when you're accustomed to daily connections. 

Whether it's sharing your thoughts, laughing about something, or just catching up on life, suddenly not having that daily exchange can create a sense of distance. The time difference can make it even harder, as I am awake when they're asleep and vice versa or have a window of time when both of us are free, but it's not long enough for a real conversation. It is especially tough when I have those days where I just want to vent or share something exciting, but it's not the right time for them. 

On the flip side, you might feel like you're missing out on things happening in their life because there is no seamless flow of communication. Every interaction becomes a bit more deliberate, waiting for the perfect time, hoping that one of you doesn’t get too caught up in other things, and when you do manage to chat, it can sometimes feel rushed or disconnected because of time constraints.  

In essence, it's the constant balancing act of trying to stay close to my friends, even though we're living on different clocks, and it leaves me feeling a bit out of sync. 

What I am still learning is, the gap in communication can unintentionally create emotional distance that doesn't really reflect how I feel about the friendship. When I moved to Canada, I wish someone gave me a proper break down of how my new life would be; including the disconnect with my friends back home. So, if you are an international student who has ever felt this way, it is completely normal, and you are not alone.